Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
