there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
