I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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