; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
