i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
