I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
