This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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