On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
