Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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