You smell like stripper and shame
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
