just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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