it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
