At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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