That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
