sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
