Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you traded sex for a burrito?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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