Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
