Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
