I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What drink are we having for lunch?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
