I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
