dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
