She said her name was "party"
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
