My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
