just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
