The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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