Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize