Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
