You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
