I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
