high people should be assigned attendants
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
