On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
