Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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