There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
