PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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