I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
