I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
