meet me or not, i'm out of control
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
