I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
