Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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