Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
