You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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