Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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