My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
