just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
