driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
