'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
