what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
