You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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