Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
