It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
