i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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