I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
